The title might sound cliché but these past few weeks has been a very enlightened moments for me. I realized that I shouldn't feel guilty or regret letting go of the people whom I think doesn't have my best interest. I know everyone have their own priorities and goals in life, but if a person truly cares for you, they have your best interest, and it will show. And the way I see it, only a handful of people are actually genuine in wanting to stay in my life.
I have been very social all my life. From elementary days to high school days, to college up until I became a published writer. You see, the most critical time where I realized that I should actually be more aware and careful of the people that I let in to my life was just two years ago. Before that realization, I was a social butterfly. I used to think that more friends and people in my circle, the happier I would be. I've been to endless book signings, meet ups, parties and overnights with friends and readers as well as other relevant events. All of which I gained 'friends' or 'acquaintances' along the way.
After encountering the lowest point of my life, let's just say that my so-called friends and acquaintances just became strangers. It only took one mistake, and only two people who truly cared about me asked me what really happened. All of the others just assumed about the 'truths' that came out. It was a painful moment, but that pain made me realized a lot of things.
Social media detox, as others would call it, became a necessity for me. You know, being away from the what-should-be and what-could-be really helped me in evaluating all of the stuff I should do.
I came in terms with just giving time and effort to the ones who also give me their time and effort without asking it in return. To the people who stayed even when everyone wanted to leave. To my friends who still supported me even when everyone seems to turn their back on me.
I came in terms with just appreciating the blessings and opportunities coming my way rather than settle with the painful things and struggled I came to get out of. To the moments where I though I'd just need to end it all. To the time where even waking up triggers suicidal thoughts.
Cutting ties with the people I thought had my back but really aren't might be the ultimate thing I did this year, but it doesn't mean I'd forget all of the things they did for me. I will always and still be thankful for once or twice moment that I actually meant something to them. It will forever stay in my heart, but I had to move on. I had to focus more on the things that matters.
I want my life to progress without them and their memories holding me down.
I'll be stronger.
Yes, I will be.
0 Comments